Belief 1) Being attractive is just about the most important thing in life. People who aren't attractive are less worthy as people. (I'm not happy about this belief. It's something I soaked in from my stepmom.)
Belief 2) I am amazingly unattractive. (When I was growing up, I believed I was actually frightening people when they looked at me and tried to keep my face hidden. Now I know I'm neutral/medium -- not especially attractive, not scarily unattractive.)
The problem: As I make so much lovely progress on self-acceptance in so many ways, letting go of the baggage of feeling not smart enough, not fun enough, not interesting enough, not motivated enough, etc., etc., etc., I'm facing one that's especially painful: the attractiveness thing.
Enter problem belief 3) It is wrong to believe that you are attractive, whether you are or are not. Vain people are unpleasant and shallow and I want no part of it. What's important is the inside. I don't want people (including me) to pay attention to the outside.
If I accept my appearance to let go of that pain, that means I need to think I'm reasonably attractive. Can't do that. If I accept that I need to do this so I can feel fully worthy, that means my stepmom was right. Can't do that.
I feel trapped, stuck, miserable. I really, really don't want to focus on appearance -- mine or anyone else's. I want to believe I'm really attractive, but I don't believe it, and it would be wrong anyway.
Help. This may seem minor, but it is causing me a great deal of pain and stress and I want to move past it.
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